someone said, "

Chinese-style marriage, want to be inseparable, want to have a bad time.

"

when you fall in love, you can only break up when you are unhappy, but once you get married, you can only put up with it for the sake of your family and children.

from 2003 to 2019, the divorce rate in China has risen for 17 consecutive years, and the number of divorce logarithms has reached 4.7006 million in 2019.

in the inherent impression, divorce means failure and loss of face, but now it has become a commonplace thing.

Marriage is no longer about choosing one person to grow old. You can leave as long as you don't regret it.

but would someone else be all right? Is it true that you won't regret your divorce?

We interviewed a lot of divorced men and women, but the answers were surprisingly consistent.

@ Sister Xia, divorced for 4 years.

my ex-husband and I were relatives. in the seventh year of our marriage, after living with our mother-in-law for five years, we divorced.

you can guess why, there is a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but not exactly.

at first, it was just some friction in my living habits. I walked into my room casually, took all the skin care products I thought I could use, cooked vegetables without washing pots, said there was still oil, and continued to use it at night.

as for my ex-husband, I can't count on it at all. I can't count on a whole mama's boy.

every day, he opened his mouth and held out his clothes. After eating, he lay on the sofa and brushed his mobile phone. When I asked him to go downstairs and throw some rubbish, my mother-in-law thought I was inconsiderate and disturbed her son's rest.

sometimes complain to him, in return is impatient: "that's my mother, what can I do?"

the final divorce was also triggered by a trivial matter.

I reprimanded my daughter for not having a good meal, and my mother-in-law glanced and mentioned again and again about her second child fighting for a boy.

the ex-husband also chimed in: "Mom just wants to have grandchildren, so get angry in your stomach and have a son to make her happy."

I just feel cold when I see his family singing in harmony.

it is difficult to give birth to a daughter, and the doctor has said that I am not fit to have any more children.

but the heart is tired to a certain extent, in fact, there is no power to care about and angry.

I simply divorced with my children. Having a job and a stable income is really a woman's greatest strength.

later, my ex-husband came to me and said that he had never thought of a real divorce and had been regretting it ever since.

but what can a person who is not motivated and I have no hope for him get back together?

when there is too much disappointment, the heart slowly gets cold, so is friendship, and so is marriage.

@ Xiaomin, divorced for 2 years.

my ex-husband and I got married in a flash. At that time, we got into it without thinking anything. Only after we got married did we know that he had a tendency to gamble.

the most serious problem was that when the child was 3 years old, he was in a state of madness, and all the property certificates were mortgaged.

my divorce papers have been written, and a lot of people come out to advise that the child is still young and cannot live without a father, plus he has always promised that he will change and live a good life.

but what I should know is that when a man sets foot on the gambling table, he can't come back. He doesn't have this family in his eyes.

I only blame myself for not being cruel enough to divorce earlier, so that I was so miserable in the next few years.

later, it was said that he was not doing well either. Debt collectors came to the door every day, and the family was a mess, but it had nothing to do with me.

Last year, I was isolated at home with my children for three months. I learned to repair computers, access toilets and change light bulbs. I felt that the future could not be worse than now.

I still have no regrets about my divorce. The only pain is that I feel indebted to my children.

I know that divorce does the greatest harm to children, but rather than let their children live in a family full of gunpowder, become inferiority complex and cowardice, I would rather make a decision and break it off.

@ Mr. Zhang, divorced for 3 years.

when I was 31, my business failed and I was suddenly in debt of more than NT $200,000. It didn't matter if I had no background. My life seemed to hit rock bottom all of a sudden.

my wife always said that I couldn't see any hope and couldn't buy a house in my life. at that time, when I was tired of quarrelling, she angrily said to me, "I can't live this day, divorce."

I know that I am sorry to her, and I have explained to her many times that I am trying to make money to pay off my debts, and I will make her live a good life.

but it seems that all the explanations of losers are excuses.

before she finished paying the debt, she really filed for divorce. I tried to save it several times, and she blocked me directly.

later I learned that her family had introduced her to a date who was divorced but in good condition.

not everyone can survive the double whammy of career and marriage.

in the first few years of my divorce, I lived a better life than death, and I slowly accepted the reality.

but one day, I suddenly received a phone call from her, in which she cried and said that she really regretted it and hoped to get back together with me.

it turned out that the person introduced to her by her family had a rich temper and was apt to break things. She found out a few days ago and was still connected with her ex-wife.

but what's the use of saying that now? When the rift already exists, it really can't go back to the past.

@ Wanting, divorced for 10 years.

I filed for divorce first.Here, everyone around me says I'm crazy.

Yes, in the eyes of outsiders, my husband has a successful career, and I am well-off. What is there to be dissatisfied with?

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but my ideal marriage should be that husband and wife can care for, support and accompany each other, rather than …...

when he wanted to chat with him, he said that he had a tired day at work; he wanted to go out with the family of three; he said he made an appointment with friends for a drink; if he wanted to go out to work, he said that women should clean up the housework and look after the children.

call me selfish, I just want to choose a lifestyle that makes me happy.

it is not that my ex-husband has come to me and asked a lot of people to persuade me, but now I am very happy.

because I have found someone who can talk with me, eat out with me, accompany me, share the joy and share the pain.

in fact, it is never too late to start life. As long as you muster up the courage to say goodbye, you will be rewarded with a new beginning.

at the beginning of a marriage, everyone is holding beautiful fantasies about the future, and no one is going to divorce.

but in the end, I failed to cope with the reality and got to the stage of divorce.

after the couple divorced, who was the last to regret?

in fact, the answer is roughly the same, and most of the people who regret it are not doing well.

most people who divorce because of their mistakes cling to the illusion that they can find something better.

but people all have an inferiority and like to compare the present with the past.

as a result, I found that my single life did not get any better, but went all the way down, and looking for someone who could accept me was not as good as the one before.

therefore, the bigger the failure, the more regret and regret that you did not cherish it.

but for the person who broke his heart, it is not so much regret as regret, regret the failure of his marriage.

but marriage is not the whole of life, and divorce is not the end of life.

there is a line in the most perfect divorce:

I don't think divorce is the worst end. the worst outcome is not divorce but becoming a masked couple, living together without love or expectation, which is the greatest misfortune.

We can't say that divorce must be a good thing, because it means a relationship, from doing and cherishing to happiness in the future.

also means a family, from harmony to disintegration.

but divorce is not necessarily a bad thing, because in a more open society, we don't have to give in as we did in the past, and leaving sometimes means rebirth.

there may be pain and hurt, but from the point of view of life, it is also a brand-new journey.

Qian Zhongshu said: "

Marriage is a besieged city, people outside the city want to come in, people in the city want to go out.

"

We all want to have a happy marriage, but the real relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, running-in after marriage, and parenting problems are all consuming each other.

Life is never perfect, especially marriage.

A good marriage needs to be managed, a daily life is needed, and life is trivial and dull.

what we need is mutual tolerance, understanding, change, the running-in of ups and downs, and the company of each other.

however, not everyone is lucky enough to choose one to love deeply and wait for one to grow old.

it's not easy for two people to get together. If this relationship can't nourish you, please love yourself.

face up to your values and your emotional needs in marriage, choose the life you want, and bear the consequences for your choices.

always remember one sentence:

divorce is not the opposite of marriage. Because marriage is for happiness, and so is divorce.

.

I hope we can all choose carefully in this noisy and complicated world and guard our warm home in the rotation of day and night.

if you can't, then re-know yourself, know your marriage, and know your life again.