Insight

DJ00123987

the United States has done a very interesting experiment.

the experimenter installed a camera on a street corner.

everyone who walks by is quiet and elegant, and even picks up the rubbish on the ground.

but after the monitoring was taken away, there was a lot of rubbish on the roadside and street corners.

there is a saying:

"I stand with my back to the sun in order not to let others see the shadow behind me."

everyone will habitually put away their flawed side and only show their own beauty in front of others.

however, see self-cultivation for details.

one cannot pretend to have a real upbringing.

it is not only the restraint in front of people, but also the self-discipline after people.

every detail of life is actually a reflection of upbringing.

once saw a piece of news.

in a bookstore in Shenzhen, a well-dressed wife cursed a little girl for more than ten minutes.

what happened to make the lady so angry?

it turned out that it was the wife who brought the children to the bookstore, but the children were so noisy that they affected the reading of the people around them.

A little girl was writing a paper and was annoyed with the noise, so she whispered a few reminders.

the lady was furious and slapped the table and scolded the little girl for meddling.

also showed off that her husband was an associate professor and dressed in famous brands, which the little girl could not catch up with.

this news reminds me of a "Duck effect" in psychology, which means that people with lower quality are more likely to have an inexplicable sense of superiority.

truly elegant people never show off their superiority. they are low-key, modest, gentle and powerful.

there is a Zhuangnu in Taiwan who is known as the "saint of ci." he wrote more than 80% of Teresa Teng's works.

A reporter interviewed him and wanted to flatter him. He said, "without you, there would be no Teresa Teng. You are her best teacher."

but the Zhuangnu shook his head again and again:

"Teresa Teng's success is the result of her own efforts. If other people wrote songs for her, she would have succeeded, too."

without her, there would be no Zhuangnu. I'm just a lyricist. I don't know how to sing and can't be her teacher. "

people with a rich heart never write a sense of superiority on their face.

they don't show off what they have achieved, what kind of life they live, and what kind of people they have seen.

because they don't need to elevate themselves by belittling others.

JK Rowling, author of Harry Potter, said this sentence:

"A person's real upbringing depends not on how he treats people who are higher than himself, but how he treats people who are lower than himself."

I think so.

when facing superiors and dignitaries, a person's attitude may be very good, because it is related to his interests.

and when a person, whether up or down, can be gentle and courteous, is the true nobility.

netizens of Zhihu

@ Lu Hanbing

once told a story about her.

once, she went to the home of a colleague.

she is the head of the department and that colleague is her subordinate.

my colleague hired a babysitter, but the babysitter was old and had some difficulties in her legs and feet.

while laughing and chatting with her, her colleagues instructed the old nanny from time to time to do this and that, and the old babysitter was busy, looking frightened.

at parting, an accident occurred and Lu Hanbing saw another face of her colleague.

after a colleague found that the glass table was wet with fruit, the old babysitter did not scrub with toothpaste as she asked.

then flew into a rage and said viciously, "wipe it with toothpaste three times!" Until you can see your shadow! "

the old nanny brought toothpaste from the bathroom trembling, but accidentally knocked over the washbasin and tripped to the ground.

the colleague did not even move his eyelids, but turned his head and smiled to bid farewell to Lu Hanbing.

A well-bred person is not proud at the top and not humble at the bottom.

will not feel at ease to instruct the cleaning aunt, will not dictate to the takeout boy, will not treat people who are inferior to themselves.

but with compassion, respect, understanding and affection from the bottom of your heart.

only such people can gain the long-term favor and trust of others.

writer Yu Qiuyu lived in Germany for a short time.

he found a house, felt very good, and planned to sign a contract with the landlord.

but the old man temporarily stopped him: "you haven't lived yet, you don't know whether it's good or bad, sign a trial contract first, and then decide whether to pay a long rent after you have experienced it."

Yu Qiuyu signed a short contract for five days. Five days later, Yu Qiuyu was very satisfied and was ready to sign a long-term contract with the old man.

accidentally, he broke a glass and hastened to call the old man to apologize.

the old man said magnanimously, "never mind, you didn't mean it. I'll bring a new one tomorrow."

the next day, the old man asked where the cup was as soon as he entered the door. Yu Qiuyu pointed to the garbage bag at the door and said it was there.

after looking through the garbage bags, the old man said gloomily, "the house will not be rented to you."

Yu Qiuyu was surprised: "did I break the cup and upset you?"

the old man said, "No, because there is no one else in your heart."

then, the old man poured out the things in the garbage bag, collected the pieces of glass one by one, put them in a box, and wrote on the outside with a pen: "here is glass, dangerous!"

Yu Qiuyu watched, blushing for a moment.

what is upbringing? This is upbringing. No matter what you do, you always think of the people around you.

when throwing rubbish, think about the convenience of the garbage collector;

when driving on a rainy day, think about whether the stagnant water will spill on the side of the road.

when I enter the gate, I wonder if I will bump into the person behind me.

A good upbringing is not difficult. It is an excellent practice to put yourself in other people's shoes and compare your heart to heart.

I especially like what Mr. GE once said:

"the real upbringing is not looking out, but looking in. Look at yourself, have requirements for yourself, and then imperceptibly turn this requirement into the criterion of being a man and doing things. "

upbringing is big, but what you do is actually small.

below I write some of the details reflected in daily life, of course, it is impossible to be comprehensive, where I want to write.

1. Respect other people's differences, even if you don't understand their behavior at all.

2. With others, don't always talk about your unique side and restrain your sense of superiority.

3. Don't pry into other people's private affairs, let alone publicize them everywhere.

4. Don't be too emotional when dealing with people, and don't put on a bad face when you are unhappy.

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5. If you ask someone a question and they don't answer you, don't ask the bottom of the casserole.

6. Respect different preferences and don't judge what others like. No matter how good your taste is, it's your own.

7. When communicating with people, don't interrupt others at will, don't be expressionless all the time, don't keep your eyes wandering.

8. Pay attention to maintain social distance, do not casually pat people on the shoulder, do not be too close to other people's body.

9. Be sure to reply to Wechat or text messages sent to you. It's okay to be a little later.

10. When waiters, couriers and takeouts provide services for you, please say thank you.

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