see a question: what can be done to improve EQ?

the answer to high praise is only four words: speak well.

although it looks simple, when you think about it, what these four words sum up is a person's sincerity in dealing with others and his skill in dealing with others.

is not only a manifestation of his personal cultivation, but also a manifestation of his EQ and IQ.

in modern society, many people will use the tone and attitude of the other person to judge whether this person is available or not.

on Wechat.

the way you reply to Wechat will also expose your EQ.

reply in time to reduce misunderstandings

I chatted with my friends a while ago and talked about "reliable".

he says that his favorite behavior is to have an account for everything, a reason for everything, and an answer for everything.

then, the friend shared that when he first entered the workplace, he took his master to say to him that he had always benefited a lot.

but whenever a message is sent to him, as long as he is not busy, he will reply "received" as soon as possible.

if a friend asks for help, he happens to have something on hand and will patiently reply "talk later".

if he doesn't have time to reply, he will explain the situation to the other party after he is busy.

in fact, don't underestimate this short reply or two.

sometimes what it brings is not the transmission of information, but also a sense of solidity and peace of mind.

my friend Xiaoke told me that she had never thought it so important to reply to a message before.

once I came back from a business trip and made an appointment with my family that I would arrive at three o'clock in the afternoon.

as a result, I met a friend I hadn't seen for a long time as soon as I got off the train. After a few pleasantries, they had a meal at a nearby restaurant.

because of a moment of pleasure, I forgot to charge my phone. When I remembered to turn on my phone, I found that my mother had made numerous calls and sent numerous messages during this period.

when she dialed the phone, she heard her mother crying and was so anxious that she wanted to call the police.

since then, wherever she goes, she always remembers portable battery, keeps her phone on, and understands the importance of responding to messages in a timely manner.

in fact, in this life, we will meet countless people and experience countless things, but there will be only a few people who really meet each other.

with them, you might as well be patient, respond to every message seriously, and be patient with every relative and friend.

responding to messages in a timely manner is a kind of politeness and self-cultivation.

speak with a ruler to avoid contradictions

some time ago, in the popular TV series "meeting season",

Jian Hongcheng and Tian Jingye are good brothers

.

the two have supported each other and worked hard together since college, and they are much better emotionally than ordinary brothers.

on weekdays, they carry problems together and resolve conflicts together. They are a rare pair of good partners.

but it is precisely because of the good relationship that the two people lose their sense of propriety when they talk at ordinary times.

one of the most impressive scenes is a dispute between Tian Jingye and his ex-wife over the custody of their children.

although Jian Hongcheng appeases with the attitude of making big things small and trivial, she is inevitably extreme in her words, challenging each other's self-esteem with her pride of the past.

later, the two began to hurt each other, tearing open each other's wounds.

the more familiar people are, the easier it is to hit the sore spot.

because you know him so well, you know what he cares about, understand his embarrassing aspects, and are more likely to slander each other.

the same is true in real life.

many people boast that they have a good relationship with each other and always say things that hurt each other intentionally or unintentionally.

ignores the fact that sometimes what you say will be stabbed into the other person's chest.

even if he is forgiven afterwards, the knife is pulled out, and the wound in his heart takes time to heal.

you know, there are some jokes that can't be played in people's relationships.

there is a degree in the heart and a ruler in the mouth, so that a relationship can continue smoothly.

such a person is the one who really has high EQ.

be prudent and protect yourself

in real life, the most taboo is to talk to each other deeply.

obviously the other person doesn't know you that well, but you tell him all the news you know, regardless of whether the other person is interested or not.

when I think of the interns before the company, it is because they do not know how to measure when they first enter the society, so they tell everyone what they have heard through the grapevine.

thinking that this will bring you closer to your colleagues.

did not expect that after a long time, not only did the relationship not get closer, but people became more and more disgusted with her and thought that she was a gossip person.

as you can guess later, before the probation period was over, the department boss terminated her internship on the grounds that it did not meet expectations.

said that one day, someone was in a hurry to share a message with Socrates.

unexpectedly, he was stopped by Socrates and asked him:

"are you sure the news is true?"

the other party replied, "I don't know. I heard it on the street."

SueGladys then asked:

"even if it's not true, it should be well-intentioned, right?"

the other party replied, "on the contrary."

then Socrates asked the last question:

"so, the news that excites you must be very important?"

the other party said, "it's not very important."

Socrates replied:

"since it is not true and it is not important to be unkind, then please stop."

the three questions in this story are called "three sieves".

these three sieves are important tools for filtering messages and the only way to protect yourself when talking to people, especially those you don't know very well.

when you talk to people and keep your limits, you keep the bottom line of safety.

Control emotions and prevent conflicts

once heard a saying: language is the most dangerous weapon, if violence hurts the human body, then language hurts the human heart.

when the college entrance examination newspaper volunteered that year, other children wanted to stay in the province so that they could easily get in touch with their families.

she is different. She doesn't know where to find a compass, draws a circle with home as the dot and a radius of five centimeters, and is determined to go far.

after four years of college and now three years of work, she seldom goes home.

when asked why, she always said that she didn't want to go back to the house full of quarrels and smashing things.

she says she has seen her parents' quarrels many times since she was a child.

regardless of big or small feelings, as long as their mother is unhappy, they will start to look for their father's thorns.

my family does not have enough money to spend this month. My father spends a few more yuan on shopping and his clothes that have been worn for less than two days are soiled, which will become a reason for my mother to vent her feelings.

when she was young, she could do nothing but put up with it.

wait until you have the ability to grow up, and then you begin to learn to avoid.

she told me that she would not lose her temper easily when she had a child.

because she knows how much an irritable person in her family can affect the whole family.

it can be frightening, and you are afraid of making each other angry when you do anything.

so that for a long time, he is submissive and timid in action.

such a day is really too difficult.

remember that the seventh pansy year once said:

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language is so weak in expressing love, but so sharp in expressing hurt.

those angry words leave scars in each other's heart.

even after many years, when I think of the past, I can't help but feel a dull pain.

so, if you are also an angry person, please calm down for 3 seconds the next time you are in a mood, don't rush to say hurtful words, and give yourself some time to digest.

only those who can control their emotions can control their lives.

I like a sentence--

"Life is like an echo. It sends back what you give, reap what you sow, and get what you give."

this is the truth in dealing with the world.

what you do to the people around you, you can reap the kind of treatment you get from each other.

what kind of tone you use to talk to the other person, you can gain the other person's attitude.

the most important thing in dealing with people is to keep your mouth shut and know what to say and what not to say.

this is true on Wechat, especially face-to-face conversation.

Don't alienate each other because of a moment of bluff, and don't go astray because of a moment of ignorance.

when you are alive, you keep your mouth, and you keep your heart.

, may you and I both maintain the most basic self-cultivation, pay attention to the propriety of speaking, be sincere to yourself and be kind to others.