there is a question on Zhihu: "what is the root cause of one's tiredness in life?"

highly praised replied:

"it's not the ability, it's not the appearance, it's the failure to deal with the relationship with yourself."

indeed, most of the time, the reason why people feel pain lies not in the thing itself, but in the conflict within us.

is too sensitive to one thing, and any change in the wind will stir up emotional waves.

over time, I not only feel less and less confident about myself, but also feel bored about life.

sometimes, at the end of the day, even if you don't do anything, you will feel very tired.

in fact, all these represent a serious internal attrition personality.

the process of internal friction is like emptying yourself slowly with a spoon.

if you want to get rid of internal friction and return life to vitality and enthusiasm, you must try the nine methods recommended by People's Daily.

01

stop living in the eyes of others

Schopenhauer said:

"one of the most special weaknesses of human nature is that it cares about what others think of itself."

in life, many people are unhappy because they care too much about the reactions of those around them.

an inadvertent look in the eyes of a colleague will make you feel down for a long time.

A casual sentence from a friend will be entangled in silence for a long time.

if you care too much about other people's opinions and comments, you will often be wronged in being sensitive and ingratiating.

you have to understand that life, in the final analysis, is a process of pleasing yourself.

99% of what happens to you has nothing to do with others.

what you really need to care about is not the eyes of the people around you, but your inner feelings.

learn to let go of your attention and expectations of others and keep your time and love for yourself.

when you learn to shift the focus of your life to yourself, you can live the brightest life.

02

stop regretting

there is a psychiatrist who has practiced for many years and enjoys a high reputation in the field of psychiatry.

he says he has many patients who spend their time thinking about the past and regretting what they did or didn't do.

"if I had been better prepared at that time..." , "if I hadn't made that mistake."

repeated remorse, finally let oneself fall into endless mental exhaustion.

it is inevitable that there are moments of regret in one's life.

A moment of reflection can propel us to progress, while long-term remorse will only make it difficult for us.

you have to believe that life is not in vain.

what was lost yesterday will be compensated tomorrow in another way.

instead of dwelling on the past that cannot be changed, let it go.

03

stop demanding perfection

around us, perfectionists often have two kinds of people.

one is to set high standards and strict requirements on yourself, and to do everything to the extreme;

the other is to ask too much of others, to be strict with others, and not to allow people around them to make any mistakes.

either way, you are doomed to be tired.

because in this world, everything can't be what you want.

the moral Classic says: "if Dacheng is lacking, its use is not bad."

A perfect thing seems to be lacking, but its function will not fail.

instead of exhausting yourself on the road to perfection, relax and leave a gap in your life.

keep that regret, life may not be perfect, but it becomes more complete.

04

stop thinking too much

Bo argues that he has told a different story about his own experience.

after graduating from university, he joined a company and the leader found an old employee to show him the business of the company.

however, every time that colleague talks to him, his voice is very loud.

sometimes it sounds like a fight.

for this, he was depressed for a long time and felt that he had not done well enough and offended the other party.

later he discovered that the colleague was hard of hearing and often couldn't hear others clearly.

so when speaking, the volume can't help but become louder.

A lot of things are like this. it's nothing at all. It's just thinking too much that makes everything complicated.

as the saying goes, "those who have the heart are tired, but those who don't care don't care."

the happiness of life sometimes lies in emptying.

Don't think too much, let alone ask for trouble.

when you look at the world with a simple heart, you can enjoy the happiness of the years in the numerous and complicated world.

05

stop falling into negativity

there is a saying:

"things don't crush people, but they can have an attitude towards things."

optimists can always walk through the years with ease and hope.

but negative people are always caught in the shadow of failure and confusion.

for example, if you refuse to confess your love, you feel that you are doomed to be alone in this life.

for example, if you don't do well in the exam, you will feel that the future is bleak in the future.

negative small problems create negative emotions, and negative emotions further magnify the problem.

the last little thing turned into a disaster.

those who are really good are not without difficulties.

but when difficulties come, you will not put yourself in a mood of decadence and pessimism.

because they understand that indulging in negative emotions can't change the status quo.

instead of making things worse and worse in gloom, it's better to face the ups and downs with a more positive attitude.

keep smiling, be pessimistic about everything, and good luck will meet you unexpectedly.

06

stop setting limits

sometimes people suffer, not because we do not have such strength, but because we psychologically acquiesce to an "insurmountable" height limit.

I gave up my original dream because I was not a professional;

because I am still a newcomer, I dare not fight for the opportunity I want.

over time, whenever you encounter some difficulties, you will choose to back down; whenever you encounter a little opportunity, you will be mercilessly missed.

Dong Qing has a good saying:

"the meaning of life is to develop rather than stick to it. We should not lose the courage to move forward at any time.

for aspiring people, every stage of life is fresh, dynamic, and full of possibilities. "

Life is no more than 30,000 days, 24 hours a day, blindly set limits to themselves, it is doomed to draw a circle on the ground as a prison.

you might as well be brave and boldly break through your cage and break the "impossible".

when you break through the limits of rules, you can see a bigger world and enjoy a different life.

07

stop hesitating

are you the same?

I wanted to lose weight, but I got a little tangled at the thought of being tired from exercise.

I wanted to travel, but I was a little shaken at the thought of the homework and preparation I had to do before I left.

I wanted to start a business, but I hesitated at the thought of the difficulties I might face.

when I hesitate to the end, I often find that I have done nothing.

the writer said:

"there are always many dilemmas in life.

if you struggle between doing it and not doing it, don't do it over and over again, do it right away. "

the so-called "think before you act", if you only stay in "think twice", all beautiful visions will be reduced to regret.

give up the idea of swinging from side to side in your mind and throw away the plan that lingers in your mind.

while young, while there is still a dream, boldly to chase, brazenly to toss.

there are a lot of things you don't try decisively and you never know what the result will be.

success or failure, as long as you take the first step bravely, I believe you will get unexpected surprises.

08

stop attacking yourself

"I'm really bad because I can't speak and my EQ is too low."

"I am a failure and up to now I have achieved nothing;"

"I don't deserve to be loved because I'm not good enough."

one of the major reasons for internal friction is that you can't accept yourself and attack yourself.

when you are not satisfied with yourself and are picky about yourself, you are doomed to be difficult to be happy.

the most difficult and important lesson for people to live in the world is to make peace with themselves.

you may not be good at words, but you have excellent action power and can take the place of all rhetoric;

Proper and Vibrant, black and red wedding dresses are definitely your essential. Have a look at new arrivals on our online shop!

maybe your ability is mediocre, but you have been diligent so that your family can have enough food and clothing.

maybe you are ordinary, but you are good enough to be loved and respected by everyone.

so, from today on, stop belittling yourself.

learn to believe in yourself, appreciate yourself, and see the bright spots in yourself.

the world will embrace you only if you embrace yourself.

09

stop procrastinating

when Lin Lin was elected general manager, someone asked her, "what do you think is your advantage?"

he answered in four words: "always in advance."

Why do it in advance?

it is because I do not want the habit of procrastination to become a stumbling block on my way forward.

procrastination is the accumulation of snowflakes to avalanches, and long procrastination will only cause us to fall into anxiety and tension.

it's easy to beat procrastination. You only need to remember two words: action.

Today's business, finish today, never put off the problem till tomorrow.

when you develop your own action momentum, the problems that make you uneasy and irritable will be resolved one by one.

only by taking action, those beautiful visions will not become verbal fantasies.

the life you want will come to you without procrastination, waiting or running away.

▽

Mr. Yang Jiang said:

"although people are small, life is short, but people can learn, people can cultivate themselves, people can improve themselves, and the value of people lies in themselves."

at any time, we are the makers of our own mental friction.Is the only Terminator.

to bid farewell to internal friction is a battle between yourself and yourself.

when you overcome your inner obstacles, you will see different scenery and experience a different life.

, from now on, change yourself, get rid of the shackles, and spend the rest of your life at a relaxed and happy pace.