there is a question on Zhihu: "

what is the highest state of life?

"

A high praise replied: "Don't get angry when something happens, don't argue about right or wrong, and you can let go of winning or losing." Live thoroughly enough, calm enough in the eyes, calm enough in the heart. "

it is true. The really strong are as calm as water.

even in the face of strong winds and waves, there is also a calm and calm, every mountain can open the road, water can build a bridge.

even if you encounter big ups and downs, you can still: there is thunder in your chest and your face is like Pinghu, and Mount Tai collapses in front and the color remains the same.

it takes half a lifetime to understand: calmness is a person's top charm.

be aware of people's deceit, don't be angry at words

read a story:

an old professor took his students to buy fish and specially chose a fish with less spines.

the fishmonger immediately said, "the fish you picked is not delicious. I'll recommend one to you."

the old professor replied with a smile, "No, I like this one."

upon hearing the rejection, the fishmonger said angrily, "Don't think that you know a few big words in culture. After reading a few books, you will know what kind of fish is good."

hearing this, the professor's students couldn't stand it. They rushed up and quarreled with the fishmonger. The professor immediately persuaded the student, then took him and left.

the students were puzzled: "teacher, that man was obviously being careful and complained to us, so why didn't he reason with him clearly?"

the professor explained: "the fish seller does know what kind of fish is good, but he will not consider which fish's nutritional value is more suitable for the elderly, because he only sees interests at the moment, and it is impossible to win an argument with him."

as the saying goes, it is better to fight with a gentleman than to talk to a villain.

Why not argue with insidious and cunning people about their rights and wrongs?

because he will make you lose your mind in anger, then pull your IQ to the same level as him, and then beat you with a wealth of experience.

when I was browsing Weibo some time ago, I saw a person comment under a certain news: "people who are victims of domestic violence must be beaten because they have done something wrong."

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there are hundreds of responses under this comment, all refuting the so-called "victim guilt theory", and that person keeps replying to everyone's rebuttal, and his attitude is getting worse and worse.

when there was nothing to do at that time, he joined the dispute. Unexpectedly, the "debate" at the beginning turned into an inexplicable struggle.

because he participated in this "war of words" for a whole day and didn't put down his cell phone until three or four o'clock in the morning, he was in a very poor state of mind the next day.

and that man attracted countless onlookers, rising thousands of fans overnight.

Psychology mentions a law called "villain's law"

.

means never argue with the villain, because the end result is consuming yourself.

when you get along with villains, you should avoid fighting most. Instead of chattering endlessly, it is better to stay away in silence.

what a person needs most in his life is the wisdom of "always competing with the same people, and not discussing the short and long with fools".

be insulted by others and remain unmoved

there is a sentence written in the Silent majority:

"one of the main reasons why I choose silence: you seldom learn human nature from words, but you can learn from silence. If you want to learn more, you must remain silent. "

there are moments in your life when you are misunderstood and laughed at. The louder you explain, the louder other people laugh.

it turns out later that the best counterattack is silence.

there is a helpless story in the Outlaws of the Marsh.

after being driven out of the palace, Yang Zhi was penniless and had no choice but to sell his ancestral knife in exchange for money. He never expected to encounter a bully when selling Dao.

in the end, Yang Zhi couldn't stand it and ended Niu er's life with one knife. then he turned himself in to the government and was assigned to Daming.

it's not worth it to ruin your original life on impulse.

he who can endure the struggle between emotion and anger, and without reason without anger, has a lot of gullies in his chest.

this is precisely the sign of a person's maturity.

keep your emotions in your own hands and be calm in everything so that you can go smoothly.

I really appreciate the attitude of actor Xu Zheng towards life. In his early days, he was referred to as "Zhu Bajie" wherever he went for playing the role of "Zhu Bajie".

at first he felt flushed, but after a long time, his state of mind slowly changed.

when he heard someone call him that again, he didn't care.

he said: "when you can accept other people's eyes and opinions, it means that other people's attitude can not influence you, you know what your original heart is, you can live the most true self."

not moving in color is calm in the bottom of your heart; daring to accept is in your own growth.

if you can bear the anger of the moment, one day you will be able to bloom new flowers in the silent years.

observe a man's mistakes, not to his advantage

as the old saying goes, "

turn a deaf ear to other people's faults, eyes do not regard people's shortcomings, and mouth does not talk about people's mistakes.

"

if you think about it carefully, this is not only the top cultivation in dealing with the world, but also the practice of being indifferent to the things of the world.

I wonder if you have ever seen such a picture:

from the first sightFrom the point of view of the angle, you will feel that the person in front is stabbing the person behind with a knife.

but the real situation is quite the opposite. in fact, the people in the back are killing the people in front with knives.

most of the time what we see is just the tip of the iceberg.

in real life, there are always some people who hear a little "wind blowing grass" and can't wait to spread the news to others.

when you don't know the whole picture, you ruin the whole of others with one mouth.

the classmate who has been a loner has no choice but to refuse everyone's invitation because his family is poor and he doesn't have the money to go out for fun.

but after someone accidentally learned about his family fortune, he spread it to others, and everyone talked about it one after another, hurting his self-esteem.

the colleague who has always been optimistic has actually experienced changes at home, but she is unwilling to pass on the negative energy to others, so she bears it silently.

but when someone accidentally learned about her family, it spread ten times, causing everyone to question her: "it's all like this at home, and you can laugh every day."

wanton evaluating other people's lives and pushing them into the abyss with one sentence is the most terrible part of human nature.

is like the sad story in the Beautiful Legend of Sicily.

Malena was envied by other women because she was too beautiful, and it was gradually rumored that she was seducing a married man, so the women rushed to beat her, tear her clothes and cut her long hair.

but on weekdays, she doesn't have much in common with the people in the town.

most people only believe in rumors and regard her beauty as an unforgivable sin, and malice is everywhere.

there is a profound saying: "

floating on the surface is the scenery, sinking the heart comes from the answer.

"

from another point of view, you can also say "

floating on the surface is the wind, sinking the heart comes from the truth.

"

one more calm, a little more thinking, maybe the result of a thing is completely different, a person's ending will be better.

No false judgment is the most commendable kindness in human nature.

▽

writer Tao Shangyun once wrote in his book:

once people are impetuous, they will be restless and restless all day. In the long run, it is easy to lose the flexibility of life.

if you are calm and at ease, you will not fall so easily.

calm down and don't panic when things happen, it's easier to deal with all the difficulties in the world.

only if you are calm and have a pattern in life, can you walk safely through life.

, for the rest of your life, may you be like Mr. Feng Zikai:

take the right way, let go of unintentional hands, make friends with Tao, never friends without righteousness, drink pure tea, open the door of convenience, and close the mouth of right and wrong.