philosopher William James once said: "the earnest expectation of human nature is to crave the approval of others."

in life, everyone yearns for recognition and someone to appreciate them.

therefore, the best way to socialize and accumulate contacts is to praise others.

when you walk, you realize that being able to express your praise sincerely and appropriately is the highest EQ in dealing with people.

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it is instinct to dislike others

in 1954, social psychologist Leon Festinger pointed out through a large number of studies:

people judge their own strength and value by comparing with others.

originally, we can know ourselves better by comparing with others.

but Leon found that in the comparison, people are easily defeated by the sense of frustration, fall into the strange circle of "jealousy" and dislike others from the bottom of their hearts.

just like Gu Ailing, a ski genius born in this Winter Olympic Games, while most people applaud her, some people sing a different tune online.

"it's stupid that we collectively cheer for a person trained by an elite education!"

"how can she find her mother-in-law when she is so good?"

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the hidden behind such remarks is the "jealousy" of a group of people.

they cannot accept that others are better than themselves, and there is nothing they can do about themselves.

there was a hot topic on Douban: what is the darkest thing in human nature?

A high praise replied, "I can't see others better than myself."

jealousy seems to be an innate instinct in our genes, but uncontrolled jealousy is moral self-indulgence.

have seen such a real case.

after the college entrance examination one year, Xiao Zhou, a "top student" in Hengshui, Hebei Province, took a famous school as his first choice, for which he was bound to win.

but it wasn't long before he logged in to the application system again, only to find that his wish had become a "pheasant university".

Xiao Zhou suddenly panicked, and he and his parents immediately chose to call the police.

after investigation, it was Xiao Wu, a classmate, who tampered with his login track and IP address.

after being caught, Xiao Wu refused to admit his mistake and said confidently, "I just can't stand the way he did well in the exam."

in fact, everyone has the heart of envy.

it is only natural to see that other people's grades are better than their own, their salary is higher and their health is healthier than their own.

but there is no same leaf in the world, and everyone's experience is unique.

others have other people's light, you also have your own splendor.

so, when you find that others are better than you, stop and look for the reasons why others are good, look at the gap between yourself and others, and then try to improve yourself.

it is better to change yourself than to be jealous of others.

know how to appreciate others is the pattern

is also the field of the Winter Olympic Games, some people show a higher pattern in the face of the strong.

in an interview, the host asked Wang Xian: "if you don't like the South Korean team, why did you invite Ahn Hyun-soo to coach?"

Wang Jing said, "because he is strong."

an Hyun-soo is the "six-gold medalist" of short-track speed skating and the number one competitor of the Chinese team.

he first competed on behalf of South Korea, and then he was squeezed out to Russia by his peers, but he is still an opponent to be reckoned with on the field.

at the critical moment, Wang Meng threw out an olive branch and strongly invited him to teach in China.

in the face of an Hyun-soo, who has no experience in coaching, many people have raised questions.

but Wang Kui resisted public opinion and patted his chest to guarantee that there was nothing wrong with an Hyun-soo.

because she has almost watched Ahn Hyun-soo's competition, what Wang Meng says most about this athlete is: "in short-track speed skating, that's really good!"

although he used to be a competitor, Wang Min never stingy in his appreciation of an Hyun-soo, giving him a high opinion, saying that he "will always be a myth on the ice rink."

in this Winter Olympic Games, the Chinese team won the first gold medal in short-track speed skating, which is enough to prove that Wang Meng was right about the wrong person.

some people say, "appreciation is a mirror. When you get to know others, you can see yourself clearly."

only by recognizing others can we see our own shortcomings, and then humbly ask for advice and improve ourselves. In the end, it must be ourselves.

in fact, everyone wants to be the best.

but there are people outside the sky, and we can always meet people who are better than ourselves.

"if there is a threesome, there must be a teacher." the advantage of others is precisely where we need to improve.

in the face of the strong, what we need to do is not to envy and hate, but to catch up with the wise.

seeing the advantages of others is a clear understanding, recognizing the excellence of others is a great pattern, and shortening the gap between yourself and others is a kind of self-cultivation ability.

everyone is a mirror, know how to appreciate others, can be appreciated by others.

can boast and is the top EQ

writer La Roshevko once said:

praise is shrewd, secretive and ingenious, and it satisfies those who give and receive praise in different ways.

it is not difficult to praise people, but it is rare to praise people well.

the real boast is not to please and please, but to give each other upward strength with love and wisdom.

with the popularity of the TV series "the World", Xin Baiqing, who plays Zhou Bingyi, has been well received for her superb acting skills.

many people compare him with Lei Jiayin, "the Red Man," and even Yin Tao jokes: "after the TV series is over, it is estimated that the two will compete for the movie star."

in an interview, the reporter asked about this, but Xin Baiqing strongly supported Lei Jiayin.

he said: "in the past, when I saw Jiayin's works, I thought he was a very clever actor. This time I had a deeper understanding. I really felt that he was a humorous big boy in Northeast China. I learned a lot from him."

in fact, Xin Baiqing is famous for being "popular" in the circle, and she always shows heartfelt appreciation for her more popular partners.

during the long confession with Ni Ni, he said: "Ni Ni has a good temperament. After partnering with her, I feel better, and the whole filming process is very comfortable."

even to Zhu Yuanyuan and Xin Baiqing, his wife who has been together for many years, she can still praise her in front of outsiders:

"Yuanyuan is not that kind of beauty, but she is very attractive. She is a savvy actress and can perform well without much effort."

some people say, "to have a high EQ starts with boasting."

truly high-level praise requires not only sincerity, but also wisdom.

this wisdom lies in the observation of things and the consideration of people, not only to distinguish between speaking occasions, but also to be able to speak to the hearts of the people.

it is an instinct to speak, and it is an ability to speak well.

Cai Kangyong said:

"when someone scolds you, you scold him back. It's called a fight." When someone praises you, you respond with a compliment, which is called socializing. "

want to open up social, learn to boast, is an essential skill.

on the Internet, some socialites have shared the following experiences:

first of all, you should overcome the mentality of "too lazy to boast" and don't be stingy with your praise.

if you are really embarrassed to boast to your face, you can boast behind your back, and good words will reach each other sooner or later.

in addition, boast people do not generalize, focus on each other's real advantages, do not be perfunctory, let alone hypocritical.

the most important thing is that interacting with people is the most expensive and sincere.

treat others with your heart, coupled with observation and thinking, can make the words warm and inspiring.

some people say that praise is like an "echo wall". What you say will come back to you sooner or later.

May you reap a share of happiness and happiness while becoming a "socialite".

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