saw a message from a listener and was very impressed. He said:

"I used to think that it was very difficult to master a craft or a skill, but now I know that it is the most difficult to get along with others."

this is true. He is fastidious in speaking and doing things in a good way.

in life, all get along comfortably, behind which is a kind of high EQ.

for the sake of others, it is respect for the relationship

there is a very classic picture in psychology called "Old Women and Girls".

this picture, seen from the front, shows an old woman with wrinkles on her face. Looking upside down in another direction, she is a beautiful young girl.

from another point of view, we see another world.

the same is true of human interaction.

We often stand on our own side and do what we think is right.

however, it is instinctive to do things your own way, and it is a high EQ to do things from the other person's point of view.

Li Hongzhang, a famous minister in the late Qing Dynasty, happened to pass by his hometown Hefei when he was dealing with official business in Nanjing.

having always respected his teachers, he decided to visit his mentor Xu Ziling temporarily.

Li Hongzhang hurried to Xufu with his entourage. As soon as the doorman looked at his official uniform, he was so frightened that he hurried in to report.

Li Hongzhang hurriedly stopped the other party and told him not to rush to announce it, but to lend himself a suit of clothes first.

the doorman was very confused, and the entourage on one side became more and more confused.

Li Hongzhang said:

"I sincerely come to talk about my old feelings with my mentor. Wearing official clothes may bring pressure to the mentor. It is better to visit as an ordinary person, and the mentor will feel relaxed and speak freely."

the entourage suddenly realized that the adult respected the teacher from the bottom of his heart.

in getting along with others, it is true respect to think of others and compare their hearts with each other.

in life, we intersect with all kinds of people every day.

some people often go their own way and are self-centered.

Napoleon Hill once said:

"the world is yours if you know how to think of others, can really look at problems from other people's point of view, think about problems, and can really help others solve problems."

being close to each other is a measure of distance

do you have such a friend?

obviously you are a classmate, but he treats you as a customer, posting dozens of moments a day to promote products.

when shopping on the online shopping platform, I always ask you to help me with a knife, but I don't have to write to you privately when I post it on moments.

their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are trivial, husband and wife quarrel, chicken feathers, always confide to you as an "outsider" one by one.

Sanmao once said, "Don't miss the line between friends."

No matter how good a friend relationship is, it can't stand such irresponsible twists and turns.

to restrain your inappropriate interruptions, closeness is the long-term solution.

Zhang ailing is cold by nature, and so is her relationship with her best friend.

she can only share her youth with her college classmate Yan Ying, and Su Qing, who is also known as the "two girls in the literary world," is also drifting away.

but Zhang ailing can make friends with Kuang Wenmei for 40 years, and even the beneficiary of the estate is Kuang Wenmei, which has something to do with the way they get along.

Kuang Wenmei is a reader and colleague of Zhang ailing. She not only gives her great support in her career, but also takes good care of her in her life.

even if she is such a close friend, when Kuang Wenmei wants to chat with Zhang ailing, she will wait for Zhang ailing to go when she is free.

when she was in a foreign country, Zhang ailing often talked to Kuang Wenmei about her personal affairs.

but Kuang Wenmei went over when she heard this, rotting all these private information in her stomach and never mentioning it to others, including her husband.

Kuang Wenmei is emotionally happy, but considering Zhang ailing's situation, emotional matters are rarely mentioned.

she always tries to find ways to talk about topics that Zhang ailing likes. Watching Zhang ailing glowing and eloquent, she will silently rejoice for her friends.

Zhang ailing's first letter after leaving Hong Kong for the United States was to Kuang Wenmei, saying:

Looking for a white and gold wedding dress to make you a brillant star? This is the part for the unique, as you.

"I have absolutely no delusion that I will make friends like you again, and there will be no such people no matter where I go to the ends of the earth.

but having a friend like you really spoils me and makes me dislike other friends. "

emotionally intimate, leave space to get along with each other, this is the secret of becoming a lifelong best friend.

as the old saying goes, "there is a ruler in life and a degree in being a man." only when you know the yardstick can you advance and retreat freely.

he who has a sense of propriety in his heart is close to him no matter how far or near he is; on the contrary, if he has no measure at all, no matter how close he is, his heart is far away.

Human contact is a treasure of affection

have seen such a story:

once upon a time, there was a businessman whose business was booming, but contrary to the prosperity of his career, there were fewer and fewer people around him, and the businessman was very distressed.

one day, on his way up the mountain to pick up goods, he overheard the sound of bells in the distance. Following the direction of the sound, he came to a temple.

when the businessman saw the Zen master who was lecturing, he hurriedly asked him for advice. why did he try so hard to get better, but he was getting farther and farther away from the people around him?

the Zen master asked him:"what do you give back to others when they are sincere and tolerant to you?"

the businessman blurted out, "I'm so good, aren't you supposed to be nice to me?"

the Zen master shook his head and replied:

"the relationship between people in the world, pay attention to reciprocity, as the name implies, others give you a little bit of sincerity, you should return a little bit of treasure, not take it for granted."

the Zen master continued:

"Human exchanges, only come and go, how can we not be estranged?" Any feelings are mutual, if you have never been serious, how can you ask others to be serious to you?

you have never paid attention to the efforts of others, so how can you blame the people around you for being increasingly indifferent? "

has always agreed with a saying: human exchanges, there is a human relationship, there is no way to go, there is no way to become a stranger.

the feeling of blindly giving is like facing a bottomless pit, no matter how much you give, it is still empty.

only know the feelings of taking, the same is true, for a long time, it will inevitably make people feel tired.

come and go is the true meaning of human feelings, is the treasure of feelings.

all get along comfortably, and they all have a high EQ.

A person's high EQ is not only able to say comfortable words, but also to do comfortable things.

learn to empathize and stand on other people's point of view in order to really understand each other.

pay attention to the measure of closeness and closeness, do not cross the boundary, do not exceed the moment, the relationship can last longer;

the friendship that attaches importance to human exchanges and goes in both directions is worth protecting forever.

May you use extraordinary wisdom to deal with the world in your ordinary daily life.

, share with your friends.