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on the title page of Silent confession, the following sentence is written:

"our whole life is to get rid of the expectations of others and find who we really are."

after the events of the world, when I look at the time road, I find that this is indeed the case.

how many people have forgotten their original appearance because they have gone too far?

how many things have changed the original direction of things because of the floating hearts of people?

We are always like this, unwilling to accept the truth, evade the truth, unwilling to accept ourselves, deceive our lives, mess up our minds, and ruin our whole lives.

when you feel confused, you might as well try a different way of living.

accept the trough and give up complaining

there is a problem with Zhihu:

"how did you get through the hardest days?"

someone replied:

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"face it, accept it, see it clearly, overcome it, cross it."

the world is unpredictable, ups and downs are inevitable, the vicissitudes of life is the normal.

what do people fear most when they are in the doldrums?

probably it is: if you feel sorry for yourself, you will only run away; you will deceive yourself and fall into a darker abyss.

if a man does not cross by himself, no one can.

the movie "Flying Life" tells a story that makes people laugh with tears.

Zhang Chi used to be a first-class racing driver and won the championship for many years in a row.

in order to set up a hukou and school status for the children he picked up, he promised others to take part in illegal competitions and was banned for five years for violating the rules.

since then, he has changed from a star on the track to an ordinary person who can only make a living by setting up stalls.

overnight, he lost all his fame and status, and his former friends and friends were cut off from him.

five years later, he was finally able to return to the game, but the financial problem made it difficult for him.

in order to save a racing car, Zhang Chi turned to a lot of people, and even risked his face to solicit sponsorship for the show.

also put down his dignity and laughed and sang and danced with his partner Yuqiang, just to please the eldest brother and get the sponsorship fee.

after recognizing the reality, he set up a stall to sell fried rice, took care of the children, and simulated driving at home through imagination.

he has engraved every road and bend on the track he has run.

he did not resent the sudden jokes of fate, nor did he resent the cold world, but silently chose to accept it.

there is a correct line in the movie:

"when a person loses confidence in himself, he is really out of date."

everyone can't avoid ups and downs in his life.

when you are high, you are not complacent, when you fall into the trough, you are not belittling yourself, so that you can cope with changes freely.

can withstand the storm, withstand ups and downs, seek inward in the heart, seek outward in the Tao, and finally wait for dawn.

as Camus mentioned in his book:

"I don't expect life to go smoothly all the time, but I hope I can be its opponent when I encounter difficulties in life."

accept the pain and stop the loss in time

Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman once did an experiment.

he found some subjects, took out a coin, and then said the specific rules:

after tossing a coin, if it is front, you will get $150; if it is back, you will lose $100.

after listening to the rules, some people flatly refused to participate, because for them, the pain of loss was far greater than the happiness they got, and they were unwilling to gamble on this game.

then Kahneman changed the rules.

give each subject $500 and let them choose:

refund $250 immediately.

flip a coin, face up, and return all $500;

face up. I'll give you all 500 dollars.

at the beginning of the experiment, a large number of people chose to flip a coin, and this time they were willing to take the risk in order to avoid loss.

Kahneman finally came to the conclusion:

people are inherently more sensitive to "loss" and become risky in order to avoid or recover the loss.

this is the famous psychological theory: loss aversion effect.

that is to say, we are often afraid to bear the pain of loss and would rather do something against our hearts.

90% of misfortunes in life are often due to unwillingness.

because I am not reconciled to it, I run away; because I am afraid of temporary pain, I suffer all my life.

the writer stayed up late and said a very clear sentence:

"Life always goes through all kinds of failures. It often happens that you go in the wrong direction, love the wrong person and choose the wrong way.

halfway through the journey, and in the middle of my life, I find that everything is wrong, and it is an insurmountable mistake. At this time, open the brocade bag, you can see the word "stop loss" sparkling. This move, which is used to save lives at the critical moment, is the great wisdom of life. "

instead of sinking in the person or thing that consumes you, stop the loss in time, accept the short-term pain, and give yourself a fresh start.

accept the ordinary and learn to reconcile

someone asked, "what do you think a truly perfect life should be like?"

see a very pertinent answer: "there can be imperfections."

when people are young, they always feel that everything should be perfect and strive for perfection.

later found out that even if you try your best, you may not be able to do everything you want.

I used to think that perfection is the ultimate of life.

now I finally understand that imperfection is the normal state of life.

writer Sanmao once received a letter from a reader who said:

"I am 29 years old, unmarried and the lowest clerk in a customs declaration bank.

every day I go back to the rented house after work and look at the life where both material and spiritual life are scarce. I can't find the value of living. "

between the lines is the reader's dissatisfaction with himself and his disappointment with life.

after reading the letter, Sanmao wrote a reply, in which there was a very impressive passage:

"unhappy girl, your heart is not free, is it right?

if I were you, the first thing I would do is to increase my expectations and self-esteem, sweep away the string of inferiority complex words from my life and never despise myself.

you have a legitimate job, you can afford to rent a room, your appearance is not bad, and you know how to further explore the meaning of life after commuting to and from work. These are all very beautiful things. Why do you feel humble? "

in her reply, Sanmao gave the girl a lot of advice.

maybe you have had this kind of confusion, unable to reconcile with your own mediocrity, unable to accept the truth of life.

but in fact, any ordinary person will have a highlight moment, but they just ignore it.

never envy other people's lives and keep your own little happiness with a normal heart.

in the middle of life, learn to reconcile and embrace the ordinary in order to accomplish the mission.

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I like the paragraph written by Jiang Xun in "Lonely six lectures" very much:

"the first object of love in life should be yourself, write poems to yourself, talk to yourself, calm down in a space, and listen to your heartbeat and breathing. I believe that when this life goes out, it will not panic. "

self-acceptance is a person's most important practice.

loving yourself is the highest self-discipline of adults.

when you get through the trough, get out of the pain, and reconcile with the ordinary, what you think is dark, there is already a glimmer of light.

I hope that after going through the vicissitudes of life, you can still say to yourself, "I have lived up to this journey of life."