as the old saying goes, "when the water is clear, there is no fish, and when people observe, there is no apprentice."

means that if the water is too clear, you can't keep fish in it, and if you are too strict with others, you won't have a partner.

if people are alive, if they have to compete with everyone, in the end, it will be for nothing.

because what we fight for is right or wrong, what we compare is high or low, but what we lose is our feelings, and what hurts our hearts.

people who compete too much often do not have a good life.

competes with his parents, wins for a while and loses for a lifetime

as the saying goes, "there are all parents in the world."

but in fact, on the contrary, there are no perfect parents.

therefore, you can't always use the perfect standard to ask your parents to wrestle with their mistakes.

otherwise, your parents will be lost and uncomfortable, and it will be a kind of torture for yourself.

the famous writer Mai Jia spent a period of dark and painful years when he was a child because of his poor family background.

at the age of 12, the Mai family was beaten up because he could not stand the verbal insults of his classmates to his father.

but when his father came, he not only did not comfort him, but even slapped him in the face and hit him with a bamboo pole.

until he became a father himself, he realized that it was not easy to be a parent, and when he wanted to make peace with his father, his father got Alzheimer's and did not recognize him.

"everything is fine" says:

"We have been waiting all our lives, waiting for our parents to say sorry; our parents have been waiting for us to say thank you all our lives. Unfortunately, most people didn't make it. "

in reality, how many people can not avoid the pain of childhood, foolishly compete with their parents, win for a while but lose a lifetime, so that a period of the past that should have dissipated has become an eternal regret.

all parents are not born parents. We should give them time to grow up.

and the greatest upbringing of people is to forgive their parents' imperfections, understand their difficulties, and learn to be grateful.

compete with your lover, win the truth and lose the relationship

there is a saying in Zengguang Xianwen: "the couple and the family are happy."

Harmony between husband and wife is the secret of family happiness and prosperity.

but it is inevitable for two people to have disputes with each other, and sometimes even turn people upside down over trifles.

Yang Jiang mentioned in "the three of us" that she had had an argument with Qian Zhongshu over a French pronunciation.

she said that Qian Zhongshu's pronunciation was not pure, Qian Zhongshu was not convinced, and the two of them competed with each other, which made them very unhappy.

later, I found a French lady on the ship and confirmed that Yang Jiang was right and Qian Zhongshu was wrong.

Yang Jiang said in her memory: "although I won, I felt boring and unhappy."

the Chinese Sage Sutra says:

"it takes ten years to build the same ferry and a hundred years to sleep together."

to be a lifelong companion.

compared to being unreasonable, the relationship between two people is the most important.

the happier the family will be if you get along with your loved ones, talk more about feelings and argue less about reason.

compete with friends, win face and lose hearts

Lao she said, "A person's life, I think, is half of his friends."

Friends are indispensable in our lives, and it is difficult to find a true friend.

but if you lose a friend, as long as you keep fighting with him, the relationship will fall apart.

this is the friendship between Zhang ailing and Yan Ying.

when Zhang ailing was very popular, she had stories about Yan Ying in almost every article, and the two were very close to each other.

Yan Ying also relied on Zhang ailing to meet many celebrities, but her heart was not only happy, but also lost and jealous.

fate twists and turns, Yan Ying is living a life of unboiled water, but Zhang ailing has to rely on her help to get into the relief house.

later, Yan Ying wrote to Zhang ailing many times, just trying to win face.

so, knowing that Zhang ailing was down and out, she kept talking about how much money she had earned and how popular she was with men.

Zhang ailing was so disgusted and bored that the two gradually drifted apart and finally broke off diplomatic relations.

you win with your friends, it seems to save face, but in fact, you lose the hearts and minds of the people, and you lose in the end.

True friendship is when two hearts are sincere to each other, not competing with each other.

it is said that a daughter is easy to get, but a bosom friend is hard to get.

between friends, knowing each other is fate, and do and cherish, do not fight, do not compete, can feelings not diminish, friendship will not change.

compete with partners, win small profits and lose pattern

Zuo Zongtang said: "to be a man, shrewdness is not as good as kindness."

shrewd people, competing with their partners, can indeed make a profit for a while, but lose the pattern.

and kind-hearted people, who know how to give way to profits and treat others sincerely, seem to suffer losses, but it is actually a kind of extraordinary foresight.

Who doesn’t want to look better in her favorite plus size wedding dresses? You'll be pleased with your sophisticated look.

both Liu Bang and Xiang Yu are heroes of troubled times, but the former became the founding king, while the latter cut his own throat in Wujiang.

because those who do not compete with each other on small profits tend to achieve more than those who make only profits.

Xiang Yu is stingy, and he would rather keep the gold and silver seized than reward his meritorious soldiers, which is unpopular.

even though Liu Bang was born poor, he was not greedy for money. He wantonly rewarded meritorious officers and soldiers, and won the hearts of the people.

in the face of interests, who can not have competitive selfishness, who is not eager to get the greatest benefits.

but the real big pattern is to be willing to yield benefits to others, and only in this way can we get greater benefits.

Confucius also said, "if you see small profits, great things will not happen."

A man has a thousand calculations, but the sky only counts. If you go too far, you will only win a small profit and lose the pattern, and the loss outweighs the gain.

but when you know how to make concessions, be generous and give, you will find that you gain far more than you lose.

never underestimate uncompetitive wisdom. If you have a broad heart, your road in life will become wider and wider.